I deserve a Padma Shri

2006-02-05T12:17:00.000+05:30

I desrve a Padma Shri because I

Am an amateur writer, who has come very close to winning a lot of competitions. I didn't win them because, you see, I was competing against people who are ranked better than me. Also incidentally, I don't know punctuation. But then, does that matter? It's only about as important to writing as service to Tennis.
Slog day in and day out - even on Sundays - over my education. I haven't gotten to college yet, but that doesn't count. I mean, college's only like getting past the round robin in a tournament, right? And that doesn't seem like a requirement for the Padma.
I regularly walk out of places and have the words "I have attitude" tatooed onto my arm. Look, now. That's even better than wearing a T-shirt.
I have been seen twice on NDTV over the reporter's shoulder and once in a crowd pic on Sportstar

Now, please don't think of giving me any awards for amateur writing, or even pro writing. I am past all that. After all, I have nearly won a lot of competitions. That's all the Padma Shri is about. Kamal Hasan and people like that? Dash them, man! That was a different time. Now the Padma is cool. Like Indian Idol.

What makes a monster and what makes a man?

2006-02-05T12:07:00.000+05:30

Answer: Read Ashok Banker. Jokes apart, a monster is a man gone bad, and a man, a being who has decided to let the monster in him lie low.